Backwoods Bastards Look To Take League By Storm By Getting Other Teams Drunk

The Backwoods Bastards, led by Juan "Gone" Gonzalez, Barry Bonds, Kenny Lofton, Nomar Garciaparra, David Wells, and Jason Giambi, are out to get other teams to attend a "welcome party" before each three game series.  Each "welcome party" will feature dancing girls, plenty of turkey with heavy gravy, and of course, plenty of Backwoods Bastard Beer from Founder's Brewing Company (with a healthy 10.2 alcohol level content).  So far, Getting Jimmy has opted to attend the party, and they were promptly swept 3-0.  The Henderson Rickey's did not attend the party, and promptly swept the Bastards (do we see a trend here?).  Verona Ridge came in for a four game series, and attended the party before the series started.  They lost the first three games, before the haze lifted, and they were able to win game four. 

The Bastards play their home games in Stinking Creek, Kentucky, at Dueling Banjo's Field.  Come early for the party.  Leave town with some losses, and the newfound ability to squeal like a pig. 

Henderson slugs its way through the first set of ten games!

Manny being Manny, showboating
with yet another home run!

The first set of 10 days of action is now complete and wow, the steroids are already in the air as balls fly out of ballparks at a record pace already!  With 59 games in the books now, there have been 176 home runs already, just about three a game!!!!

The Henderson Rickeys smacked 29 homers in just the first 10 games!  Andy has the second most, with 19.  Henderson has Manny Ramirez with 6 HRs already, and Tino Martinez and Ken Caminiti with 5 each. 

Manny and Caminiti and Tino are far and away the hottest batters in the whole league so far.  But how about Fort Wayne's Sterling Hitchcock?  9 innings of shutout ball with 15 K's!  As for who's not hot, Damon Buford's .174 average will place him firmly in Bill Vanaman's doghouse, and Chuck Finley and Scott Erickson won't last long with ERA's over 9.00.  A special place on the hotseat is reserved for Andy's Mike Bordick, with just 1 hit in 35 at bats for a woeful .029 average. 

For those new to this, there are a ton of stats on the right hand side of the screen, but these daily reports are the heart and soul of this exercise.  Just click where it says "Day 1" or "Day whatever".  You can check every day to see your boxscores, little newspaper-likes stories (now with a condensed play log for each inning!), who's hot, who's not, who's injured, etc.  I'll try to put the highlights here, but click away on the full reports and enjoy!

Day 1  Pedro Martinez throws a three-hit shutout at the Buttheads, Albert Belle and Tino Martinez each crack two HRs, Travis Fryman's two-run HR lifts Verona over the Juicers

Day 2 Carlos Delgado with 5 RBIs for the Buttheads, Fort Wayne gets a 13th inning walk-off HR from Andruw Jones to top John Wisely, Kerry Wood whiffs 10

Day 3 Steve Willnus and the Henderson Rickeys remain unbeated, with their third straight wins.  Dramatic walkoff HR for Goombies' Dean Palmer, former Tiger Justin Thompson goes the distance for Verona Ridge

Day 4  Chan Ho Park provides outstanding pitching for the Juicers, "The Big Hurt" Frank Thomas is a walk-off hero for Verona, Goombies get three in the top of the 12th to beat the Rickeys

Day 5  Orlando Hernandez gives manager Steve Willnus a one-hit shutout, Sterling Hitchcock tosses a three-hit shutout for Fort Wayne, Albert Belle and Rafael Palmeiro each hit 2 HR's

Day 6  Jim Thome homers late for the Juicers, Rusty Greer goes 4 for 5 with 4 RBIs, Roger Clemens (15 K's) and Derek Jeter (4 hits) get Jimmy for Jimmy's team, Randy Johnson K's 13 and goes the distance for Fort Wayne

Day 7 Homer Bush (really, Homer Bush???) walks off for John Wisely, Bill Marx and Brooklyn go 15 innings of non-steroid ball with a combined ZERO runs until Barry Larkin cracks the walk-off for Bill , David Cone tosses a nifty two-hit shutout for Andy, and Barry Bonds gets 2 HRs and 5 RBIs for Steve

Day 8  Henderson continues to pound the ball, this time its catcher Gregg Zaun with 2 HRs and 5 RBIs.  Other games seem dominated by pitching, with Brooklyn's Carlos Perez, Bill's Tom Glavine, Henderson's Al Leiter, and John Wisely's Brian Moehler each turning in outstanding performances

Day 9 Chan Ho Park blanks Steve Willnus' team on just three hits, giving PED-Co another win.  Most unlikely player to crank two HR's in a single game?  How about Jimmy's Eddie Taubensee?  He does the trick against Verona Ridge.  Rusty Greer had another 4 hit game for Brooklyn, Jeff Bagwell gets a grand slam and "Da Meathook" Dmitri Young rack up 5 RBIs. 

Day 10 Chuck's Kenny Rogers and Jeff Shaw combine to shut out the Buttheads, Tony Clark has 2 HRs for Bill, Brian Giles provides offense for Fort Wayne

More team names coming in!

Rickey IS the greatest team-namer of all-time!

Pat Carr has announced that star LF Rickey Henderson was tasked with coming up with a team name and location.  With Rickey's enormous ego, the team was quickly moved to Henderson, Nevada  and of course, dubbed the "Rickeys".

Dave Steines has claimed the Brooklyn Buttheads
and Linda Carr is back with the Verona Ridge Roadrunners

The Brooklyn Buttheads practicing their swings

Verona Ridge Roadrunners back for another season!



First Transactions of the Season!

Sorry Darryl
Darrrr-yl!  Darrrr-yl!!!

Bill Vanaman and his Midland Goombies drop Darryl Strawberry (and "his no-defense ass") and pick up Wally Joyner, then drop Todd Hundley and pick up Jermaine Allensworth

 

Andy Willnus drops Eli Marrero and Wilson Alvarez, and picks up Mike Simms and Reggie Williams

 

Mike Walter and his PED-Co Juicers drop Mark Clark and pick up Brad Radke

Dave Steines announces that the Brooklyn Buttheads cut Kelvim Escobar and Xavier Hernandez, and add Paul Shuey and Arthur Rhodes.

Don't do it, little Wally Joyner, don't follow
 this guy back to the training room for a 'shot or two'

Mike Walter's team name and Stadium info unveiled.

Hello fellow strat competitors, your opponent in the West division is called: "PED-co Park Juicers". (PPJ) We are located in San Diego, (Pet-Co Park), and we actually fit geographically too.

Manager: Arnold Schwarzenegger

1st Base Coach: Hans and Franz (from Geico Commericals) (pump you up)
3rd Base Coach: Vasily Alexeev (Googled, famous lifters, and he seems like he was on "juice".

Also Starting Line-up

1.)  T. Walker-2B
2.)  M. Loretta-SS
3.) S. Sosa-LF
4.) J. Edmunds-CF
5.) V. Guerro-RF
6.) J. Thome-1B
7.) M. Stairs DH
8.) J. Posada-C
9.) E. Alfonso-3B

Opening Day Starter-Curt Schilling
2.) K. Wood
3.) Todd Stottlemyre
4.) Chan Ho Park
5.) Mark Clark

Team Name Revealed: Fort Wayne Frosted Tips

Based on the longstanding, cool, and totally reasonable fad of the '90s, the Fort Wayne Frosted Tips look to take over the 1998 Retro League. Although the team may start slow, expect them to gel by mid-season and watch their win total spike as they fly into first place. This team will refuse to dye!

Leading the team will be Frosted Tips' captains Mark McGwire and Mike Piazza, both more than willing to represent the team with all their heart.

The coaching staff is as follows:
Head Coach: Guy Fieri
1st Base Coach: Steve Nash
3rd Base Coach: All of N'Sync (No they won't be taking turns, I picture them all waving home Piazza in the coach's box together.)

We're very happy to introduce the new coaching staff and strongly believe Fort Wayne will be the highlight of the Western Division.

Draft is done, now on to pre-season steps!

OK, a fun and successful draft is now over and we move into final preparation for the games  to begin!  First things first, please come up with a team name and you can choose a stadium as well (that won't affect gameplay, but it does show a pretty picture of your field with all of the other stats).  Also, if you want to pick up players, drop others, maybe work out a trade, just post a message on this site, or send me an email at pjallie2@aol.com .  Waiver claims are first come, first served. 

I will run the first set of 10 game late Friday, so please have at least a team name by then. 

 

I've set up links to both your roster and the current computer manager.  The computer managers are generally good and your team will be OK with them, but there is plenty you can do to customize and hopefully improve the manager file as the season goes on.  They are all optional, you don't have to do it, but here is a quick summary of what you can change. 

 

-Basic righty and lefty lineups 

-Five man starting rotation
-Setup pitcher vs. lefty and righty
-Setup closer vs. lefty and righty
-Pinchitter vs. lefty and righty
-Pinchrunner
-Defensive replacements (like put Joe Smith in CF if winning late in a game)
-Base stealing - extra conservative, conservative, normal, aggressive, extra aggressive
-Base running - - extra conservative, conservative, normal, aggressive, extra aggressive
-Hit and run - - extra conservative, conservative, normal, aggressive, extra aggressive
-Use relief - - extra conservative, conservative, normal, aggressive, extra aggressive
-Closer usage - regular, maximize
-Intentional bb - - extra conservative, conservative, normal, aggressive, extra aggressive
-Infield in - 1, 2, 3,4 5 inning
-Hold - minimum steal percentage 0-100 by 5's
-Hold - minimum lead percentage 0-100 by 5's
-Hold Always*  yes or no ( should always be YES!!!)
-Minimum % to steal percentage 0-100 by 5;s

 

And finally, here are the divisions we will be in.  Winners of the three divisions are in the playoffs as well as the best record among the remaining teams.

 

Division 1: East
1998 Steve 
1998 Chuck 
1998 Jimmy 
1998 Andy

Division 2: Central
1998 Pat 
1998 Dave 
1998 Bill V.
1998 Bill M.

Division 3: West
1998 John 
1998 Michael 
1998 PJ 
1998 Linda 

 

Please let me know of any questions by posting on this site or an email to pjallie2@aol.com.  Get ready for some heavy hitting and some major offense!

Preview of new draft screen! Draft Night is coming, Sunday February 22, 7:00 PM!

Most of the folks who will be in this league have used Yahoo Fantasy Sports before, and finally Strat has something similar now.  This is what we will be using Sunday night for the draft.  You do not have to be present to get your team selected, but it is much more fun even if you take the first 2 or 3 players for your squad

Click on the picture to enlarge it