Backwoods Bastards Look To Take League By Storm By Getting Other Teams Drunk

The Backwoods Bastards, led by Juan "Gone" Gonzalez, Barry Bonds, Kenny Lofton, Nomar Garciaparra, David Wells, and Jason Giambi, are out to get other teams to attend a "welcome party" before each three game series.  Each "welcome party" will feature dancing girls, plenty of turkey with heavy gravy, and of course, plenty of Backwoods Bastard Beer from Founder's Brewing Company (with a healthy 10.2 alcohol level content).  So far, Getting Jimmy has opted to attend the party, and they were promptly swept 3-0.  The Henderson Rickey's did not attend the party, and promptly swept the Bastards (do we see a trend here?).  Verona Ridge came in for a four game series, and attended the party before the series started.  They lost the first three games, before the haze lifted, and they were able to win game four. 

The Bastards play their home games in Stinking Creek, Kentucky, at Dueling Banjo's Field.  Come early for the party.  Leave town with some losses, and the newfound ability to squeal like a pig.